Orihime the Matchmaker
by Muffytaj
Summary: What is Orihime had decided to act on her 'womanly intuition' regarding Ishida's feelings towards Rukia? Utterly insane, and eventual Ishida x Orihime.


**Orihime the Matchmaker**

Once Orihime made up her mind to do something there was never any stopping her. She held out the dress in front of her, before a mask of determination settled over her face.

"Right!" She said aloud, "If Ishida-kun likes Kuchiki-san, then there's only one thing for it!" She liked Kuchiki-san. She also liked Ishida-kun. Ishida-kun liked Kuchiki-san. Therefore only one more line needed to be drawn: from Kuchiki-san to Ishida-kun.

Orihime: Nature's unwanted matchmaker.

"Kuchiki-san!" She called as she bounded up to the shinigami. "Look what Ishida-kun made for you!" She presented the dress with an impressive flourish. "He made it specially for you!"

Rukia blinked. "Ah, thank you."

"So..." Orihime said casually, leaning against one of the many walls. "What... what do you think of Ishida-kun?" For a moment she panicked that she wasn't casual enough, but then she had the brainwave of examining her fingernails. Damn she was good at this!

Rukia raised an eyebrow at the bubbly human. Now why on earth was she... ah! Rukia remembered how Ishida had looked at Orihime, and the tender way he talked to her. With no other female around, Orihime was obviously desperate for approval of her liking of Ishida, and thus had come to her!

"For a Quincy he is very strong, and seems to be a good fighter." She said enthusiastically. "And he sews!" She smiled at Orihime. "At first he appears stern, but underneath he is really a good man." Rukia nodded, missing Orihime's expression. "I think any girl to fall in love with him is lucky indeed."

Orihime clasped Rukia's hands. "You really think so?" She asked, her face bright.

"O-of course." Rukia said, slightly put off at Orihime's sparkling. Geeze, she didn't know Orihime liked him _that_ much.

"I'm so glad!" Orihime said, and dashed off. "Wait right here!" She called back. _Kuchiki-san likes Ishida-kun!_ She crowed. _She really does like him! But then why hasn't she stepped forward? Ah, of course! She said 'for a Quincy'! Does this mean that she thinks her family would disapprove of her going out with a Quincy? Of course they would! Ah, she is so brave, to withstand such heartbreak for the sake of honour!_

She could just picture poor Kuchiki-san, kneeling on her wrathful father's floor, tears streaming down her face.

"Please father!" She would cry, "Please let me be with him!"

"Never!" The father would roar. "He is a Quincy! The only way he could ever earn my approval is if he were to defeat my eldest son in combat!"

And then Ishida-kun would appear in a blaze of glory, and throw down his Quincy robe!

"I will do it." He would say, and the music would hit a crescendo and then Kuchiki-san's eldest brother (What was his name again? Bakki? Never mind) would step forward all forbidding evil and then WHAM! WHACK! Ishida-kun would defeat the evil brother in a few short blows and then the brother's hair piece would slowly spiral through the air, hitting the ground with a dull thump.

"F-father..." The brother would say, as he collapsed onto one knee. "His love is too strong. I-I cannot..."

And then Ishida-kun would sweep Kuchiki-san up into his arms and then would hop into a sports car and race away, to live happily ever after!

Orihime gave a cheer, before she realized that she had just run into Ishida.

"Ah, Ishida-kun! I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, pulling him to his feet. "I was busy thinking about... thinking about..." She blushed.

Ishida rearranged his glasses. "I-it's no problem." He said, rather red in the face.

"Ishida-kun..." Orihime took a deep breath, before plunging into the deep end. "Say there's this guy, and you think he likes this girl. And you know this girl likes this guy. And you think they would do really well together, only there might be a slight problem but you know he can easily overcome that. H-how would you tell the guy that the girl likes him too?" _Why does it hurt?_ She asked herself, as something inside her chest squeezed. _Ishida-kun likes Kuchiki-san, and I'm sure Kuchiki-san likes Ishida-kun, and I'm going to help them! So... why does it hurt?_

"Inoue-san..." Ishida said quietly. "Is it true, then, that this girl likes... this boy?"

"Yes." She said, and wondered why her eyes were watering.

"Orihime, I, that is to say, I have..."

"It's okay. You don't have to say it." She said, and turned her head. He was going to thank her for telling him Kuchiki-san liked him, but it hurt too much to look at him! This was the last time she was going to meddle with love – it was too painful!

"No, I-" But just then Ishida's patience tore, and he grabbed Orihime by the shoulders, and proceeded to kiss her with all his pent-up emotions.

"This boy likes this girl very, _very_ much." He said eventually.

"But we mustn't!" Orihime said dramatically, "Think of Kuchiki-san!"

"What?"

"She will be heartbroken when she discovers that you no longer love her!"

"Orihime, what exactly are you talking about?" Ishida asked. Orihime gave him a sheepish smile.

And thus their mad relationship started.


End file.
